The true nature of pie
In times of chaos I’ve discovered that I bake. It suits me to be up to my elbows in food dust and goo, walking my brain through steps I’ve scribbled in a sometimes-sticky Ann Taintor journal. I made pies last week (many, many pies) to perfect my gluten-free crust. I think I’m finally happy with the outcome.
;)
At a recent event, an unnamed, not gluten-free Texas man (who knows his wine, pie and food) complimented my cherry pie’s crumb.I will be sharing the complimented crust with you as soon as I hear back from a few more of my real-world testers, once I’m positively sure that even you can do this. Since I’m not dishing up the recipe just yet, I have something else in mind for this post. Fair warning: this is another rare personal post. Pass on by if you were hoping for only the light-hearted side of pie.
I find that pie actually has a darker, deeper underbelly. In this case it happens to be paychecks. I find myself recently without the anticipation of expecting one. I’ve been incredibly lucky as a freelance grant-writer thus far to have had steady clients. Alas, tides shift and orgs restructure.
The past week has had me treading water in the waves of uncertainty, half panic, half exhilarated. It’s something so many of us deal with at some point in our lives. My mom, my hero, made do during a couple uncertain years when I was in middle school (with many more expenses than I presently have). She left her high-paying professional job on principle and when no other jobs of the sort surfaced, she cleaned houses.
I’m sharing all this with you not because I want you to feel sorry, but because it seems like no one ever talks about reality. I’m sharing this because I want you to know that there is actually empowerment to be found in the face of uncertainty. (Not unlike the time I spent weaving the lattice top on a parchment-papered cutting board, and the moment I flipped it, a swift turning-a-page-in-a-book flip, onto the unsuspecting cherries.) It’s funny the things that get in your head and stay there. Eleanor Roosevelt’s famous directive, “You must do the thing you think you cannot do” is pushing me forward, poking me every time I feel scared and start to pick apart my abilities.
I often get the question “What do you do for money?”, and let’s face it, writing books, these kinds of books at least, is not enough money to pay the bills. One day, with continued support from all of you (I’m entirely humbled by the kind of response I’ve received thus far), maybe it will be. While penning words to help non-profit orgs raise money has been a steady source of income over the past few years, I’m exploring new methods. I’m bulking up on my class offerings, including a new small-batch preserving workshop for parents and kids. I’m also working with my first home consultation client, helping him develop the home he has in mind and ways to live better in it.
My uncertainty pie is filled with a pared down scale of needs vs. wants. I am piecing together a roof of income like I patched together the portions of lattice that broke off. I’m sticking it in the oven and hoping for the best.
Announcements, Baking, Gluten-Free, Self-Care
Reader Comments (19)
Kate- thanks for sharing. I'm crossing my fingers that something good comes your way soon. Maybe this is a sign that you should develop and market a gluten free pie crust. I think you've got a winner on your hands.
Enjoy the exhilaration of unlimited possibilities rather than yawing through stagnating probability! xxoo
I can't tell you how loud and clear I hear you. I love hearing about real life and dark underbellies. It's what makes us better. I don't need to tell you to hang in there, but please do!
Oh! A great GF crust?! That would be wonderful. I bakes GF treats for my best girlfriend and I'd so love to surprise her with that this Christmas.
I enjoyed the honestly in this post. I'm wishing you the very best of luck with lots of great writing opportunities coming your way.
Yet another Eleanor Roosevelt quote: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Remember that as you create a new livelihood. Keep moving. Though I hate to admit it - it really does always work out.
FYI- Glad it's not just me feeling this way. ;)
so long as you keep an eye on the pie so it doesn't burn, you'll do fine. given current economics, being flexible regarding income generation is the way to go.
Very gutsy to lay everything out like that....it's so hard to show the soft underbelly of ourselves. There are so many of us in your boat that we really should never feel alone. Thank you for your courage and your honesty and I'll be thinking good thoughts for your journey!
When someone asks, "What do you do?" don't answer with what you do for income. Tell them instead that you make this world a better place (many people will confirm). That's WAY more important than any job could ever be! More words of wisdom from your Mama...
This is a beautiful post. I love your honesty and willingness to share. We all have times that make us wonder where we are going in life, but it is in those times that taking a hold of what you are truly passionate about shines through.
Kate, beautifully written. I sincerely hope that your new ventures are fruitful and create new opportunities.
Thanks for keeping it real Kate! It is scary to expose our fears and our at-the-core realness. xo
Really beautiful post, Kate. Thank you. I'm going to pass it on in various ways because so many people I know (myself included) are in your situation: living with big question marks. I also know that when you put stuff out there, unexpected answers come back.
I look forward to hearing what appears for you, and to seeing your pie innovations. -- Sally @ the improvised life
You are so brave and I know that I am rooting for you! Also, that pie is GOR-GEOUS! xo Jodi
Your comments are so kind; I appreciate such thoughtful responses from each of you. Thank you all for offering support, a friendly ear and loving notes.
In my "spare" time, I'm also knocking out some next-book research! How often do we get the gift of time? I'm taking it!
Yes, thank you for sharing. It's strange how common this is, but how we don't talk about it much. Our moms and grandmothers did more with even less choices and resources, but it doesn't make it any less scary! I myself went from being a college professor to a secretary and now I'm using this regular day job thing to pursue other (more fulfilling ways) to make a new career for myself. It just might even involve pie ;)
From one Kate to another,
You welcomed me into your home to show me my new passion, this I will forever thank you for!
This post is inspiring, you took the words from my mind and put it out there in reality. It's nice to know those that struggle are not alone and there can always be a way to get by. Hang tight, something good is coming your way!
Hi,
Hoping you can post the pie crust recipe when you have time. Or is it somewhere on the site but I just haven't found it? Thanks. Also, I have much appreciation for your book and blog.
Hi reader!
I'll be sharing the pie crust recipe with the blog readership at some point in the future, but drop me a line at kate at paynekate dot com if you'd like it right away.
Thanks for your note.
Kate, thank you so much for sharing. I am so excited for your next adventure(s)!! I can't wait to read all about what's ahead for you...I know it'll be amazing. And I know you'll be open and honest enough to share both the ups and downs with us, which is one of the many reasons I respect you so. Best of luck.