Coconut milk and confidence
I’m coming out of a long funk with roots in a few different areas of my life and I’m finally feeling sunnier and ready to chat again. (Don’t let that sunset fool you; I’m bidding farewell to the clog and kerfuffle of my internal landscape.)
Physically speaking, after a fine five years of being completely gluten-free (and losing the majority of my horrible symptoms) I’ve noticed a few straggler issues that have yet to disappear. A doctor recently discovered that I’m likely casein free, too.
This news does not support my dairy-hoarding tendencies, no, not at all.
Having a completely new experience with my body, upon which I won’t elaborate, is making the longing for cheese and heavy cream dissipate, or at least fade into a fond memory. In place of the highlight of my morning coffee (half & half) or the weekly French-style ice creams, buttermilk and greek yogurt I relish making, I’ve developed an intense and lovely relationship with coconut. It turns out full-fat coconut milk is the answer to the majority of my dilemma.
Professionally speaking, I’ve been chewing on a diplomatic response to a recent book about what the author perceives as the perils of women embracing domesticity. Read my response to the main problem I found with this book; I still have more to say about the section pertaining to food.
Emotionally speaking, I had some sort of identity crisis after turning in my kitchen book draft to my editor a couple months ago. For a long while I fumbled around feeling half-convinced of my position and role in talking about the kitchen (a mostly-convinced, sort-of-qualified kitchen operator myself). I wondered if I really had anything informative and useful to say (interestingly, the exact same feeling I had the month before HGGH came out).
And then I remembered, you. My overwhelmingly supportive and positive and non-judgey base of readers. There’s nothing new under the sun to write about the kitchen, but coaxing the unconvinced into the kitchen is a challenge I’ve taken on because at least knowing how to make (delicious) food for yourself is a fundamentally empowering thing.
Confidence comes and goes, so being kind to myself (and attempting to quiet what Anne Lamott calls the “itty bitty shitty committee” aka self doubt) during the absent times is how I stay afloat. How about you?
Dairy, Gluten-Free, Inspiration, Self-Care
Reader Comments (10)
I wish you already knew that we want to hear what you have to say (like you say, from the last book), but if you don't know, we do. I was just reading yesterday about how sometimes women have trouble shining with the confidence to be an 'expert'. The general consensus seemed to be 'fake it til you make it.' And you've already made it!
No one in your HGGH family is looking for an "expert", just a friend who will let us know it's OK to try new things and sometimes goof them up! The "experts" are intimidating in their seemingly perfect world where time, money and skill are never in short supply. Not one of the "experts" got me to try making my own yogurt or candied lemon peels but you managed to convince me I could do it! Thanks for just being you - it's all we really need!
Priscilla, thank you for such a thoughtful note.
Deborah, aka mama, watching you learn and feel empowered to extend the life of your foods has been such a delight. This is such a sweet thing even coming from my #1 fan :)
Keep pushing on! Your blog has given me the courage to try making more from scratch (than the bread and chicken stock I already did), despite the fact that I have one small countertop to do all my cooking, and two small kids (three soon) under foot. :) Oh, and full fat coconut milk is divine!
I love this post... I've been reading your blog for a while now and find myself giddy every time you post something new. Your thoughts about career, identity, feminism, home and lifestyle are so vibrant and thoughtful - both in this post and the article you wrote as a response to Emily Matchar's book. I'm amazed by how often, especially as women, we create titles and roles to pit ourselves against each other instead of finding new ways to embrace the diversity of options we are working towards and can experience. There are many of us on alternate routes to professionalism, domesticity, family, and all things life, who are continually negotiating and rethinking our roles and choices. Calloused palms come in many variations, yes? I have a hard time believing that my mother's choices to hyphenate her children's names and pursue a career were meant to tell me anything less than, "Look at all these open doors." You have created a world of inspiration that I find accessible both as someone who flocks to the kitchen as a place of comfort and discovery. Let us not be dismissive of positive voices in our lives and embrace how people's choices have allowed them to BE that inspiration (to one other person or to many). Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I'm sorry about the casein allergy. About six months ago I gave up gluten and eggs, because my breastfed daughter is allergic. Once I found a few decent gf pastas and one decent gf and egg-free bread, I adjusted fairly quickly, thanks in part to blogs like yours.I learned to make muffins and pancakes with gluten free flours, and I adjusted my meal plans to include more rice and homemade corn tortillas. A month ago I finally gave up dairy for my wee one's sake, and I have to say that one has been much harder. There is just no substitute for a cappucino with whole milk, grated pecorino cheese on my pasta, and crumbly blue cheese. So I sympathize.
The coming and going of confidence is what makes you human and real and interesting to read. I can't stand media figures who want to tell me how to cook and clean with the latest products all with overbrimming and fake confidence. So please go on writing.
Sounds like you're enduring overload both physically and emotionally -- not the best time to give yourself the equivalent of a personal annual review! So glad you're calling for reality checks from your fans. I'm a newcomer to your site, but as others have observed, the pleasure of seeing someone try old and new ways of householding lies in the genuineness of your reports, not in any expectation that you're going to give us food porn on a prefab cracker. Hang in there and have a little coconut sherbet, one of the great sources of sensory enlightenment in this world.
Good gracious, my cup is overflowing this morning. A big thank you hug to each of you, Kristin, Ashley, Kathleen and Oona!
Just an addition: We all go through these moments of uncertainty and confidence-ebb. I wish you knew exactly how often I recommend this blog of yours -- because it's such an attractive, artful, well-written, informative thing. For me, it combines beauty and use really well, and I don't find that in every blog.
Thanks for the crafty and food-oriented encouragement that you give with each post!
Thank you, Catherine. I'm tickled to hear your impressions of the blog, so spot on with what I hope readers will feel!